you think it’d get easier right? you think it’d become normal, and you’d get used to it. But it really never settles in. Every goodbye hurts like hell. Every second spent together is cherished. Every kiss is as special as the first. Every day spent apart just makes it harder. Sure, you get into habits and it may seem okay for a little bit, but it’s not. It hurts. To love someone with every atom of your heart, and to not be able to hold them or see their face or touch them, while you see people together who spend every day together and take each other for granted. Its like, why cant we be lucky enough to have that time together when our love is so much stronger? Why can’t this be easier? 

But at the same time, i find myself asking, how did we get so lucky? How did we find the one person in the entire world that suits us so perfectly at such an early age? We share something that people would kill to have. We are each others best friends, and support systems. We never take each other for granted. So how, at this young, experimental age, did we get to be so lucky to find one another? I am so blessed.

but I just want to be together already. All of my problems are non existent when he is standing by my side.Only a couple more months until I can sleep in his arms and feel the warmth of his hugs every single day. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. It hurts like hell. But that’s how I know we can get through anything. That’s how I know he is the man I want to marry some day in the far future.I would go through hell for him. I would do anything for him, and that’s exactly what i’m doing. 

But can I just feel okay for now? that’s all i want. for my sadness to go away. how do i do it?